Same as it Should Have Been
by DocDoolittle93
Summary: SEQUEL! So, I promised you guys a sequel to Same as it Never Was, and here it is! After the horrible truth comes crashing down on Cas, he decides he's going to take matters into his own hands, no matter what the price he has to pay is.
1. Chapter 1

"Do you think it could be done?" I ask Thomas and Morfran, still sitting in my hospital bed, but now I've been awake for almost two days, and suffering immensely when I realize none of it happened. I didn't go to pick up the ring. Dad and Anna were never brought back. I never proposed to her. None of it was real. Morfran scratches his head while Thomas looks to me in sympathy. I ignore him.

"Maybe. You said this is how it happened in your dream?" My spirits are crushed when Morfran calls it a dream. I still can't believe it. But it makes sense. I never had memory loss. I couldn't remember anything because it _never_ happened. I never had a life with Anna. I just nod to Morfran's question.

"Could–" My breath hitches in my throat. "Could I have come up with a way to get her back because the dream was about her?"

Morfran shakes his head in thought, but no words come from his mouth. I can tell that even he hasn't come across something this strange. I scoff. Strange, my ass. Painful; that's more like it. Why would Fate throw me such a cruel card after everything I've ever went through for her? False hope and the thought that Anna could somehow be back here with me. I know it may sound strange, but I wish I'd never woken up in the first place. I'd rather have a beautiful lie than the horrible truth.

I'm sitting in the hospital bed, my eyes trained on the uninteresting lines on my hands. I see Thomas whisper something to Morfran from the corner of my eye, and next I know he's gone from the room. Thomas sits alone with me, a heavy silence weighing between us. He's the first to break it.

"I've been seeing what you did. You know, in your dream." He talks hesitantly, as if he's stepping on eggshells. I won't deny it. He _is _stepping on eggshells. There I was thinking I brought the girl I love back to life, move into her destroyed house with her and proposed to her. I want nothing more than her. To be with her. And now I have the cruel knowledge that none of it happened. Of course. How the Hell could I possibly have gotten Anna back from Heaven? And why would she willingly leave for me?

Thomas, hopefully, can't see how broken I am. I don't want to be seen as weak, even in the time where I most deserve it. I just want to curl into a ball, cry my eyes out and be left to rot away. Left until I turn to dust. Maybe then I can join Anna in Heaven. I'd leaving Mom and everyone else, but I'd never know the difference. It'd be just like when I let Anna go. Once the powers that be had made that damn house for her there, she had seen a doppelganger of me. It wasn't me. It never would be. But Anna would never know the difference. She's living the life she should have had all those years ago. I could live that life, too. If only this damn place would let me leave.

Through this frustration and fury and anger and pain comes the topic of my dad. I haven't told Mom anything, but I'm damn sure Thomas knows. He just isn't saying anything. Dad's practically been a stranger my whole life, and I thought I had miraculously gotten him back, too. It was all a lie. But I could have been content with living in that little world. And through this suffering is when I decide that this is only the beginning. And that I have a lot of work ahead of me.


	2. Chapter 2

**I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I promise I am working on it! I just haven't found the time as of late. I'm sorry it's kinda short, but more will come, I promise! Enjoy :)**

* * *

I can see the sun, but I can't feel it. Everything feels cold. Dead. I'm sitting in the lot where Anna's house should be. Where it was while I was sleeping. I come here to think sometimes. And to try and communicate with her. It's worked to no avail and some days I just want to bury myself away from the world. Sometimes, when it gets really bad, I just wish they'd just left me half-dead. Or all dead. I'd rather live within a dream than to know that she's not here.

The grass is getting my pants wet from the dew, but I couldn't give a rat's ass. Her house was here. I met her here. I tried to kill her here. And I fell in love with her in this spot. My eyes feel like sawdust. Dried completely of any tears they could shed. This hurts too much. It hurts more than when I let her go. Because I was in my own little paradise. And to think that Fate was playing a cruel little joke on me is just too much to bear.

I pull out my wallet and flip it open to where my license sits. Right behind it is the newspaper clipping mentioning Anna's death. I look at the picture and think to myself that she's still the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on. The most beautiful creation that could exist in this Hell we call Earth. And I lost her.

_Cassio._

My head jerks upright and I feel like a fish out of water. I can't breathe. Maybe the wind is just passing by. I begin to think that maybe I was just imagining it, but then I hear giggling. Anna's giggle.

I get to my feet, walking fast to the middle of the lot. I swear, I can hear her feet hitting hardwood floors. I can hear her laughing. I can feel Anna here.

"Anna!" I scream into the thin air. I look around to see the street is empty. But that doesn't make a damn bit of difference. This street could be filled to the brim and I wouldn't care who the hell heard me. "Anna!"

_Cassio. Cassio! Stop messing around. Come out, come out wherever you are._

"Anna! Anna, I'm right here!" I continue to scream, but she doesn't respond. Am I losing my mind? Am I just imagining this?

_Cassio…_ She says in a singsong voice. _I know you're here. Come on, Cas. I swear, I'm going to stop playing this stupid game with you._

I take in a sharp breath. What is she talking about? What game am I playing? Can she even hear me?

"Anna…" I let out a sob and collapse to my knees. This is worse. Worse than anything I've felt so far. I can feel her. I can hear her. I can tell she's here. But this time, I'm the ghost. I'm the one who's invisible. But I'll be damned if it's going to stay that way.


	3. Chapter 3

"This needs to be done. Now." My hand slams down to the table with Anna's obituary. "I need her back, Thomas."

He's got his nose buried in some ancient book, and he looks at me above the pages as though I've lost my mind. I don't know what makes him put down the book. Maybe it's the expression on my face. Or the anger in every pore. But he puts it down to look at me like I'm nuts. Great.

"Cas, you can't get someone back from Heaven…" He starts, talking to me like I'm a child and he's telling me I can't have desert.

"Thomas, I heard her." I say and he looks up to me, his eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.

"When?"

"Yesterday." My voice breaks and his eyes are full of pity. I'm not some pathetic person. I don't want pity. I want help, damn it.

"Cas, you let her go to Heaven. It's not possible to get people back from Heaven."

"I got her back from Hell. How is that any more difficult?" He sighs and rubs his eyes. He's probably tired of me bringing up this topic. But let's face it. I'm not giving up on her. "She talked to me, Thomas."

He looks at me as though I've gone mad. Hell, maybe I have. He bites his lip and I can tell he's trying to think of a way to put me down gently.

"Cas, are you sure you aren't just hearing things?"

"Yeah, Thomas. I'm hearing Anna."

"That's not what I mean. I mean…I mean, are you sure you aren't imagining her talking to you?"

"I wouldn't make that shit up, Thomas."

"I'm not saying you –"

"Then what the hell are you saying?" The sentence comes out gruff and louder than expected. He sighs.

"I'm just saying you went through a lot since the Bordens. And that maybe you should take it easy." It dawns on me as he says these words.

"You think I'm making it up since I made up the dream."

"Cas…"

"You think that I'm hearing things that aren't there because…what? Because I made up a life with her? Thomas, I'm not going crazy!"

"I'm not saying you are. I'm just saying that you obviously miss her a lot. And I think that you would do just about anything to make you feel like you can have her back. But Cas, Anna died long before we were even alive. She was a ghost long before you ever came to Thunder Bay. And now she's gone. You need to accept that. Please. You're my best friend. And right now, I'm telling you – no, I'm _begging_ you – to please let her go. This isn't healthy. You haven't slept in days. I haven't seen you eat anything. Cas, you are making yourself sick over this."

"The only way I'll be able to ever be okay again, is if I get her back here with us. With me. And I'm going to get her back, with or without your help." He sighs and leans back into the chair. He rubs his eyes for a few minutes before looking to me.

"What do you need me to do?"


	4. Chapter 4

**I hope you enjoy, guys! Sorry it's been a while, but I've had other projects going on. Hopefully this will be finished really soon. Happy reading!**

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"I think I may know how this is happening, Cas." Thomas has all of my attention. He's flipping through some old book that smells of mothballs and must. "So, we know that Anna's mother killed her and cursed her. I mean, we saw Anna's whole murder. We saw…the floor suck her up. But maybe her mother didn't create this portal in Anna's house. Maybe she just manipulated it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, maybe the portal already existed there. Almost like the veil between Hell and our world is really thin at Anna's house. Almost like the plot of land was already cursed before Anna and her mother even moved here. All Anna's mother did was join Anna's soul to the curse."

"How exactly does that describe why this is happening?"

"Well, not 'why' it's happening, but 'how'. I mean, let's say you really are hearing Anna. If the veil in that location is so thin, you might be able to have…I don't know. Experiences? Vibes? It would explain why all of the people Anna killed continued to be there even after they'd all died. Because this is almost like…Limbo. I mean, Limbo is the edge of Hell in almost any mythology. Anna's house is kind of like the gateway to Hell. But when the house was destroyed, that's when all of the ghosts and Anna disappeared. With no more house, there'd be no more Limbo. Therefore, no more cage for them to be trapped in.

"Even though the house is no longer there, it's not exactly the building that made the gateway, but the land. The dirt, the grass, the air; that whole plot is probably what's making you hear her."

"But why wouldn't she hear me? I mean, I was talking to her, Thomas. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. Why wouldn't she hear me then?"

"You said that Hell was really loud when you were down there trying to get her back the first time, right?" I nod. "Well, maybe it's the same still. Maybe she can't hear you because it's too loud where she is."

"But after the Obeahman was destroyed, she went to Heaven, Thomas. When it let her go, it wasn't loud there."

Thomas rakes a hand through his hair and I know that he's just as stumped as I am. Neither of us knows what's going on, but I won't let it stay that way. I grab my coat off the couch and head for the door. I'm going to the only place I seem to find answers anymore; the land with the missing house.


	5. Chapter 5

The plot that held Anna's house now has the vague outline of a circle, where the structure was literally sucked into the earth. Birds don't sing here. Any grass that grows is dead one it hits the air. This whole place reeks of decay. And the only thing that showed life here once is gone.

I try to relax, tell myself that if I'm calm, she'll come to me. I'll hear her just like last time. But I sit there for minutes on end, and nothing comes. I can feel tears stinging my eyes, but I tell myself to pull them back. Ghost hunters don't cry.

I'm sitting in the center of the circle when I hear hushed breathing. My eyes shoot open and look around me. Nothing is there to make that sound. Then, a tune begins to play and I hear humming. After the humming comes a voice that's been bouncing around my skull for who knows how long.

"_When I grew up and fell in love, I asked my sweetheart, what lies ahead? Will there be rainbows, day after day? Here's what my sweetheart said. Que sera sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que sera sera."_

She continues to hum, and I can tell without a second thought that it's Anna.

"Anna. Anna, if you can hear me, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I let you go. I've let you go every time I've had you. I should have fought to keep you. You deserve this life, Anna. I'm so sorry, baby."

Tears hit dirt and I hear footsteps, but they're too loud to be Anna's. She doesn't walk with loud thumps, but with graceful steps. She's still humming when something cuts her off and she giggles. Someone's in there with Anna.

_Cassio, stop it! I'm busy trying to make this._

_Why does it matter about this? I've told you more than enough I don't want this._

_We are having a birthday party for you, I don't care what you say. Thomas and Carmel and your parents are all coming here. And if I don't finish this damned cake, then your head is going to be mounted on the wall in our living room._

I don't hear any more, but I can hear Anna giggle. And for reasons beyond my knowledge, I can feel the vibration her laugh causes. But I feel it against my lips. This isn't what scares me the most, though. What absolutely terrifies me is the fact that the person with Anna – the one who's making her laugh, the one she's throwing a birthday party for – has my voice. I'm in there with her.


	6. Chapter 6

I can't explain what it means. I can't explain how it happened. But I have a feeling that if I dwell on it too much I'll lose my mind. I can already assume I've been hearing Anna from where she is, from the other side. But why am I there? It makes no sense. I'm this close to smashing my face into a brick wall.

Since that encounter, Thomas and I have been preparing for when I…well, when I go there to get her back. Since we graduated this past year, Carmel's been taking a nursing program, and – even though my mind is telling me to worry when she comes as me with that needle – I trust her completely. We've been saving up blood, keeping it for when we need to bring her back.

I tell myself that maybe she's happy there. That maybe she doesn't remember she's dead, or in Heaven. But my chest is aching from the memory of letting her go. And though I tell myself to leave her be, I can't. She doesn't belong there. She belongs here, with friends and family. With me.

Anna's obit sits on my dresser, sealed tight in a frame and captured so it won't fade away. I stare at it sometimes. Ah, screw it, I stare at it constantly. It's the only thing I have of her. Just that little scrap of paper and memories that are fading too fast. The dream is all but gone. I don't remember practically anything that happened there. I can recall big events, but nothing else. I remember proposing to her. I remember Dad coming back. Borden finally waking me up.

I don't remember what her alive skin feels like. I don't remember if I ever saw her blush. The way her feet sounded as they slapped onto hardwood floors. Her voice, the laugh that's filled with life, is slowly slinking away from my mind.

In place, I'm recalling things that actually happened. Her ghostly voice, the one that's light as air bounces around my ears. Nightmares of blood and shredded bodies plague me at night. When I sleep, I remember just who and what I fell in love with, not the girl who I imagined in my dream. But to hold her – actually _hold_ her – in my arms would make every screaming, waking moment worth it.

* * *

It happens on a Sunday, late afternoon. I've been waiting for this, waiting to see if this crazy idea from a dream will work. Thomas has prepared himself just like he did when we went to Hell, prepared himself to be a vessel for me. Mom's talked to Gideon about this, but he's not going to have an influence over me. From the phone call I heard Jestine cheering me on in the background. Gideon didn't seem too cheery.

The portal sits on the land that used to host Anna's house. The bags of blood are prepared and sitting in a cooler in Carmel's car. I'm nervous, clearly visible with the shaking hands and goosebumps that line my arms. It's just the three of us, similar to what it was like when we traveled to Europe.

Thomas starts chanting, and I hold the athame to my gut, ready to plunge it deep inside. Carmel stands next to him and when I raise my ghost-slaying knife, she buries her face into Thomas's shoulder, intent on not seeing her friend stab himself. I just hope she doesn't stay like this. I need her to be available to help me when the time comes.

When the knife first sinks in, everything feels hot. Slicing and fracturing comes next. Then it's like ice, frost may as well be coming from my lips. After time, I can still hear Thomas chanting, getting louder and louder by the minute. Then, his voice begins to fade, and everything goes black.

* * *

When my eyes open, I see a tin ceiling with a design I recognize. Anna's room. I pinch myself. I'm here. I'm really here. I'm sure of it this time. The sun is shining. The house smells of frosting and cake. Bare feet gracefully walk across linoleum floors. Anna. Anna! She's here. I need to get her back home before time runs out.

The stair creak slightly under my feet, and I hear her humming that song she was earlier. The same melody coming from a beautiful voice. I find myself near the kitchen, and my heart gets on a roller coaster ride when I see her walking back in forth in a dress, mixing bowls scattered along the countertops, slight steam coming from a cake cooling above the stove.

"Cassio. I thought you were going to go get dressed," Anna says and she walks to me. Something feels off. This doesn't feel like my Anna. She pulls at the t-shirt and jeans and chuckles. "And no offense, honey, but I don't see how this is getting dressed up for a party. This looks like every day Cas Lowood wear."

I'm silent. And I just stare at her. This is real, but something isn't right. She's talking like she doesn't know she's dead. Like she thinks she's still alive. She cocks her head to the side and puts a hand to my face to catch a stray tear. Something really isn't right for me to be letting tears fall.

"What is it?" she asks and is about to hug me when a voice comes from behind us.

"Who the Hell are you?" The voice is mine, but it didn't come from me. I turn around, and there, standing maybe three feet away, is a boy who could be my dead ringer, sloppy hair combed back, t-shirt and jeans traded in for nice dress clothes. Anna drops her hands and takes a sharp intake of breath when she backs away from me. From the way this second Cas stands protectively in front of Anna, I can tell I have a much bigger problem at hand. How can I convince Anna that _I'm_ her Cas, when the one she's been with all these months is standing right in front of me?


	7. Chapter 7

This other Cas stands in front of her, and only her eyes are peeking over his shoulder. He has a scowl written on his face and by the way he's standing, it looks like he's ready to tackle me if I make the wrong move.

"I asked you a question. Who are you?" he says, practically hissing at me. I don't answer him. instead, I turn to the girl cowering behind his arms.

"Anna. Anna, it's me. It's Cas."

"I don't know what game you're trying to play here, but _I'm_ Cas Lowood. Not you," the ringer says. She can't really believe this, can she? I try talking to her again.

"Anna, it's me. I'm the _real_ Cas. Anna, I don't what lies he's been telling you, but he's not real. You died in the 50s. Your mother killed you and put a curse on you. You were a ghost in Thunder Bay. You don't remember that?"

"Lies," she finally speaks, still hiding away from me.

"No, they aren't, Annie. I came to kill you, because that's what I do, remember? But you let me live. And I fell in love with you instead. Something bad happened and you did something to save me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she whispers.

"I suggest you get out of here, before you lose something important," the ringer Cas says with a threatening tone in his voice.

"Anna, you were in Hell, and I saved you, bringing you to Heaven. That's where you are, Anna. In Heaven. This isn't Thunder Bay."

"Liar. I know everything about this place."

"Oh, really? My father has been dead since I was a kid, Anna. But I heard you saying he was coming to the party today. How can that be if he's not alive? In the real Thunder Bay, your house doesn't exist anymore. So why are you in it, if you're insisting that _this_ is Thunder Bay? And one other thing: I never take the athame off my belt. And he," I point to the ringer, "doesn't have anything on him."

"I don't ever carry a knife," he hisses. Anna looks uncertainly at him, but she stays behind him for protection.

"That's because you're not the real Cas. You're fake. A figment. Anna, listen to me. The first time we spoke, we talked about what we dreamed of. You thought it was something that had to do with ghosts. I told you it was about penguins doing bridge construction."

"We've never had such a conversation," the ringer says, his face heating up in anger by the minute. Anna looks sharply to him then, lets go of his arm and stumbles backward.

"Yes, we have," she says with conviction. My face is constructing a smile. She's beginning to remember.

"Anna, no we haven't."

"We talked about how you used me for a game of handball, and you made some smartass remark about it making you feel damn manly," I say.

"Why are you doing this? Anna, don't listen to him, sweetpea. He's trying to fill your head with lies." The ringer is getting more and more frustrated by the minute, and it looks like he could tear me in half at any given time.

"I remember that. I…I threw you into a wall in the house." She looks at me, and realization is in her eyes. Everything is coming back to her.

"And you called me an ass the same day." I chuckle. She lets a smile come to her face.

"Cas?"

"It's me, Anna."

When she's about to come to me, ringer Cas pins me against the wall in a headlock. He may be a figment, but damn is he strong. He's cutting off my air flow and I can hear Anna screaming fits of rage at him.

I kick him right in the gut and it seems to have no effect. I'm swinging punches, and in comparison to when I fought Borden in my dream, I'm not scared. I am down right furious. But this guy is just determined to protect her. We both give up our struggles when we hear the wind rushing through the house and with the house groaning and creaking as if it's alive. I turn to the corner of the kitchen where Anna was once standing, and there is my dark goddess, eyes pitch black, but aflame, and her hair swimming out in coils around her head.

She has a scowl written across her face and I'm worried. I don't know exactly who is in control right now. Is it Anna, or the evil entity that once possessed the girl I'm in love with. She comes near us and her fists are clenched as she walks forward. Anna walks toward me and I'm afraid she's not in control, but then her brow becomes slack and she shows some recognition towards me. Her attention then turns to the ringer Cas and she grabs him by the neck and lifts him up about a foot off the ground.

He grasps at her hands, trying to desperately free himself, but to no avail. Anna squeezes until her grip is so tight that ringer Cas is nothing but ash and dust. Her hair drops back to normal and her eyes clear up so that she's my Anna again. She walks toward me and when we leave through the portal to go back home, I don't think there's ever been more peace on my face.


	8. Epilogue

**Hey guys! This is the epilogue. I just wanted to thank everyone who stayed with the story from the beginning, including mia, Eva Maverx, Emma, & BookLover342. And to everyone, including the readers who arrived while the story was developing, I hope you enjoy the conclusion to this story! :) -Cait**

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It's been ten years since Anna came back to Earth and since she became alive. Eight years since we were married. We've been in Thunder Bay this whole time, it truly becoming a home. No more moving around for me. Why should I chase death when I have so much to live for now? The athame has been put away into a cigar box under the bed and any trace of ghosts in our lives are gone, only the thin white lines of the stab wounds still branding my torso.

Every now and then, someone will recognize Anna, but we just tell them she's a descendant of the infamous local dead girl, and that her name is Annie. It seems to put them at ease. Only a handful of us know the truth regarding my wife.

Carmel and Thomas have been married for several years – guaranteed not as long as Anna and I have – and they come over to the house twice a month for dinner and catching up. Mom still runs her little wiccan shop, except it's no longer online and she owns a property in town. Gideon and Jestine still live in England, and from what I know, Jestine has made quite a name for herself over there in the ghost-hunting community.

I'm on the porch and Anna is down at a swing set, pushing our three-year-old son, Tommy, back and forth on the tire swing. We have another little one on the way, a girl this time. We don't know what we'll name her, but we know she'll be perfect. When Tommy was born, we weren't sure if he would be affected by what either of us were, but I couldn't imagine a happier little boy.

He and Anna giggle and as she pushes him back and forth, she looks up to me and blows a kiss. I wave to her and smile. She absent mindedly runs a hand over her swollen tummy. Our little girl's been kicking up a storm. As Anna and I are focused on the new addition to the Lowood family, Tommy starts to giggle hysterically. Our attention turns to him and he points to the corner of our fenced in yard. Anna and I turn to each other, worry on our faces. Nothing is there.


End file.
